Challenge accepted

Since i got a lot of time in my hands , i thought of thinking a few things to write about the essay that my Bf have for homework,Kinda miss writing an essay actually XD Let's just begin..

People face challenges every day. Without challenges, life would be trite and uninteresting

. However, there are different levels of challenges. A challenge could be something as simple as making a decision. It could also be facing and accepting a total change to one’s way of life These essays itself is challenging me to no end.Firstly,My best friend never died,I wasn't ever diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I haven't yet climbed Mount Everest. From the POV of teachers, my life has been handed to me on a silver platter. Sure, I've had challenging moments, but I don't think they want to hear about how economics was too hard and the life of "society" works for a typical teenager like me.Same cheesy and repetitive stories.

So, I've got this concept, and it seems to me to be kind of clever. But wonder if this is a terrible idea? I don't really know if readers want to hear something facetious in response to that kind of a prompt.Then I'd go on to the challenges of writing an essay about my challenges. I'd end with the conclusion that the topic was about the challenge of writing the essay about the challenge. Yeah but if this ever been written for an actual essay ,you either get claps or just .. (yeah depends if the teacher actually likes the way you think )I'll admit, it would be a funny essay in itself.

But Keep in mind that it doesn't have to be this monumental challenge. i'm sureteachers get enough essays about overcoming a fear, losing a family member, etc. i'd even dare to say that writing about those challenges are harder because it has to come just right (tone-wise) and really original ,a challenge can be as simple as teaching a kid you tutor his ABCS or 123s, but with a spin . Don't be too concerned about a huge event. What they want to know is more about you in an essay,like what Challenge means to you -it can be simple, but should be unique

If all else fail..

Hello there everybody! Everybody? lol i kid, but anyways hi. Looks like i only ever touch this space when i have something to 1) be sad about, 2) be angry about, 3) be bored about, 4) tell the world how in love i am-about. Dont we all these days? Blogging has lost its cool, has it not?

So anyways, hello there. I really dislike hyping myself out then being letdown. Since i was a kid, my mom used to play games with me - telling me she'd buy me something tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, NOTHING. Tomorrow never came. Tomorrow never comes.The same thing i'm going through now, not with my mum but with someone ,i got my answers but i want to see it not hear it.

So to put it in present day contexts, i try not to expect so much and try not to get too excited cos i know that, life works this way for me - rather unfortunate, dammit. When i anticipate something, it doesn't usually turn out the way i fantasized it to be, it usually doesn't even turn out... (sentence ends here). So i expect the least, oh shit, i see my problem now, i still expect.Okay back to my point... But then, there are days, when i dont stop myself. I let my imagination run free - all that excitement, hope, accomplishment, flowers and daises. Damn it why did i forget? So it throws me days like these, when i feel extremely lousy, low, useless, shitty, crappy, miserable, useless, lousy, lousy, useless, useless, worthless... Thesaurus?!

I just gotta sleep all that self-pity and hopelessness off before I get up and be happy again cos thats life man,

SUP BRO YOU UP FOR SOME TEA BRO

Haven’t shopped for closet items in a while that I almost feel as if I’m running out of things to wear. Ridiculous as it seems, I do believe I speak the truth.

Ramblings

I like gypsy moths and radio talk.

'Cause it doesn't remind me of anything.

I take a look at the everchanging world around me, I sense an overwhelming surge of disgust. Maybe its just the heinous pessimist in me subjecting myself to negativity. Maybe boredom has just become a factor. Maybe I'm just different. Different in a sense where my thoughts, my opinions, are almost consuming. I'm hateful towards the world today. Hateful towards this country. Hateful towards what I've become and what I fear I will be. Trapped in a constant sea of confusion and worry. Taking each step as cautiously as the next.

What is so conspicuously tormenting me? Absorbing, conquering my every emotion.

I am stranded. Left helpless. Incurable to this disease I have so willingly become accustomed to. I have done all wrong imaginable to the naked eye. Comments have been passed, and judgements have been made. Sometimes, the recurring thought that I should never have been born if all I was to feel was hate, surges.

In the midst of my quiet and soft spoken rainy days, I find myself lost in thought. Thinking... What is my purpose? Why do I kill myself with these stupid decisions of mine? Why do I overthink...

I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could waver the consequences. Shut down my confusion and stay sane. And be true to those whom have been true to me.

This is not a cry of self pity, nor is it a cry for attention. Theres no reason for that.

This is just a verbal scream. A release of negative energy all into one post.

My anxiety is just too overwhelming to handle.

I wish I wasn't so complex.

Wish for a hand to hold, warmth to ensconces myself in. Kind eyes to leave me assured and at ease. An understanding similar to mine, so I don't feel stupid or obscure as I speak. I have that person but his asleep.On the surface to certain people, u should place aside the things you see... Maybe, you probably should think harder and look harder that my life is actually difficult ,yes i have the chance of going NAFA but please just dont judge me base on that ,im blessed to have a caring sister ,as shitty as i treat her sometimes she still wants the best for me.

.

Tranquility

Unable to sleep…
Passing the time with photo uploads and movie re-runs. Plus! I’m hungry. should i make a burger sandwich?

And continue watching Aladdin.
Coz he’s nice to look at. Even if he is a cartoon.

Just my opinion

Why people get mcs?Okay, i do too. But only to get an mc for oversleeping.But for attention of your friends?act as if you're gonna die?

But why do people fake mental illness? To get attention? To seem interesting? To make yourself feel better because you're a coward and you cant face your own problems head on, so making an excuse will make you seem stronger but deep down you know that you're just a pussy? I believe that genuinely insane people wouldn't know they are insane? Like that man i saw shouting at his reflection in the bus. Or the other man who walks around the busstop saluting NS men and then scoffing them right at their faces, or those people from youtube videos who kinda make me laugh though i feel quite bad now.

So don't come with all your, i think i've got OCD, I'm bipolar, i'm suffering from depression, i'm slightly schizo, i act like a child from time to time and what other creative diagnosis you guys manage to pull. No you are not, everyone has a certain level of that chemical imbalance but its normal. And depression? Dude. That would mean i'm fucking depressed half my life too because i cant get things how i want it. Just like you. But I dont go around taking anti-depressants and other weird pills you guys carry around because i know i'm not. I'm just an emotional wreck every now and then and sometimes i wallow in self pity. Just like you. Maybe not as much because my parents always thought me to be strong and to quit being a bloody pariah. That is all there is to it. Nothing more, really. I talk to myself when i'm alone, does that mean i need pills? Dude, i enjoy talking to myself!

You're what? What have you been through? War? Starvation? You got raped? Your uncle touched your ass and pulled out his dick to wank in front of your face? Hahahaha shut up already why dontcha. Even some of my friends' whose parents have passed away don't pull this shit. They are stronger than anyone i know. You are not as complicated as you think you are, you just like the idea of it because you think its cool, the way i see it, you're just weak. Cos if there's anyone insane around here, i'd say its my mom because she thinks Im acting like a kid and i'd like to spar with her one day.

The Reason

I miss you when something really good happens, because you’re the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you’re the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow, and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life.

Invalid

Much has sparked my polemic behaviour. But I guess this is what Singapore does to you. Too many people conform to the specifics. They bow down to a society filled with hypocrites and down right wannabes who have no sense of individualism and self identity whatsoever. Theres never congruity. Everyone seems to find fault in one another. Its hard to seek out true happiness in the midst of all this chaos and problematic insignificance. Then again, life isn't easy. And I guess its a little narrow minded of me to think so negatively of our dear country. Its life at its most gayest. As much as I detest it, acceptance seems like the only plausible solution...But gee, has the world forgotten?
I guess this is just another one of my insomniac ramblings. No comment required, but I'd advise keeping an open mind. For now, my smile has been restored by Cadbury's Favourites chocolate box. Massively munchable miniatures. Scrum!

Local

Why are people wired in such a way, that no matter what you say or do, appearance still plays a big part in first impressions. And why is it so hard for people to give others a second chance to redeem themselves. Why do we brush people off by just one look. Why are some adults so persistently judgmental and childish.

Also, why is it that sometimes the people you love most (say your own blood?) bring you the most heartache. And even though it ignites in you some sort of bitterness, you still do anything to please them just so you wont disappoint.

I guess when life gives you lemons... you just shut up and eat your god damn lemons.

On another note:
I know I tend to love ramble quite a bit. But as I was browsing through my iPhone pictures, I came across this particular one which I edited with Photofunia and realised, how I could never stop loving him. Even if the world stopped, or I lost him to someone else, I would still love him regardless.

I know this all sounds overly sentimental, but hey, in reference to my story:

You know someone’s worth keeping when he doesn’t buy you just any old flower.